Feeling Scrambled? Advice on Choosing an Egg Donor
Congratulations, you’re going to have a baby. Or at least, you’re planning to have a baby – but you’ve got to put together all the elements to make it happen. Often, the first step is choosing an egg donor.
Simple, yes? Obviously not: choosing an egg donor is one of the weightiest decisions you will ever make. Here is Modamily Donor Concierge’s list of things you’ll need to consider:
Anonymous vs Known Donor
One of your first decisions will be whether you prefer a “Known Donor” or an “Anonymous Donor.” A Known Donor is someone who agrees to direct contact with you. She is often a relative or a friend, but she can also be a donor chosen through a donor database. You might decide to choose a Known Donor because you want your child to have a relationship with the donor. Or you may want to preserve the family characteristics that a Known Donor provides. The downside is that the legal guidelines for Known Donors are less clear, and you’ll need to be quite careful when defining the role of the donor in your child’s life.
An Anonymous Donor is a donor you find through a database who does not reveal her identity to you – all contact is handled by the donor agency or fertility center. The benefits to using an Anonymous Donor include preserving confidentiality and a more clearly defined legal relationship with the donor. Most donation matches are made with Anonymous Donors, but MDC can guide you through either process.
Appearance can be an important consideration when choosing an egg donor. Potential parents often want a child who looks as if (s)he is genetically related to their family. Or perhaps appearance doesn’t matter to you. In either case, MDC will help you acquire the information (including photographs) to help you make your decision.
Medical and Psychological History
ALWAYS review a potential donor’s medical and psychological history. Understanding how the donor’s history might combine with your own family’s history is crucial. It’s especially important that the donor’s history be compatible with the male partner’s history, to guard against certain inherited conditions. Check for allergies, which may be also be inherited. Blood type may be important if you are seeking a child who matches your family’s blood types in the event that a future situation requires you to donate blood to your child.
Good agencies will attempt to give you insight into a donor’s personality. Try to find a donor with a personality type that seems compatible with yours and your partner’s. It’s often best to choose a donor with whom you feel you could be friends. Although the science behind personality is complicated, there is evidence that some personality traits are inherited. Why not make positive ones part of your choice?
Once you’ve narrowed down your search a bit, the location of the donor often becomes important. If you’re on a tighter budget, it may be more efficient to review local donors first, then conduct a national search if you don’t find a suitable match. MDC can help you in either situation.
Repeat Donors are women who have gone through the egg donation process at least once. It may feel reassuring to use a repeat donor because she understands what the process involves and has responded well to the necessary medication in the past. Using a repeat donor does not guarantee success, but it may offer a certain amount of comfort.
Handling the Stress of the Process
Potential parents often choose to use an egg donor after a long struggle with infertility. Regardless of your circumstances, the decision to have a child and the highs and lows of the process often serve up conflicting emotions. This is totally understandable – and it’s fine. MDC is always available to support you, and to connect you with service providers who will provide the most attentive, compassionate care.
Are you ready to take the next step? Get started now!